I'VE FINISH MY ENGINEERING DEGREE TODAYYYYY!~~

whahahhaaaaa,,,the title itself makes me sound crazy oredy.but YES!i am crazy after this few deadliest weeks but i wonder how am i still alive???(buahhahhaha)

and YES!i've finished my final paper few hours agoooooo,,,(lorh,,the title says i've finish my degree??)
ooooo baru abis exam je pon,,,,unofficial punye finish laa ni,,eh2 jap,,bukan ke sy ade lg 1 paper jumaat ni??paper ape tu??teknokeusahawanan,,nama omputih entrepreneurship,,nama timangan enterPORNO..memandangkan itu bukanlah subjek core saya maka saya amek keputusan untuk isytiharkan saya dah grad hari ni,,,hip hip hoooreeeyyy,,,ade sesape nak cakap sy x betul,,silakan dan terima kaseh,,ngahahhaaa,,,
tp kan....tadi xleh jawap pon final paper.HIGH VOLTAGE Engineering.subjek ENCIK FARHAN a.k.a MR CHumIL,,walaupun dia cumil tp sy masih belom berjaya utk menjawap dgn jayanya,,MAAFKAN SAYA INCIK PAAN!!~~dan subjek itu antara harapan nak dapat A,,tapi KENAPAAAAA???
sebab sy x sehat.bila sy xsehat otak saya malfunction.automatically.sy dah bc berulang2 kali tapi bila masuk je dewan,,baca soalan,,1 haram pon x igt,,smpai electric field pon bleh lupa rumus???xkan la sy bodoh smpai cmtu skali?yer begitulah sy bila xsehat.kenapa sy xsehat yer?
ANGKARA FINAL YEAR PROJECT.
patutnye sume da setel 19 april dulu,,but my project is incomplete.kerana terlalu suka buat keje last minute,,itulah ganjarannya.tp utk FYP tu xde la last minit sgt pon.sy da start lama just xjmpa solution.xpelah abaikan FYP nnti sy bukak slot baru citer pasal FYP je.so nape sy xsehat?
19apr-presentation & demo FYP
2 weeks before-8 jam di lab, 3 jam di library.everyday.kelas kira cancel.
22apr-submit final report(projek xjalan lagi nih)
25apr-1st paper.killer paper
26apr-killer paper
arini-killer2 paper.
secara konklusi nye sy dah 3 minggu berturut2 x tido malam.makan sekali sehari.penah 2 hari x mandi n x gosok gg langsung.teruk kan nak jadi engineer ni,,ermmmmm...natijahnyer,,semalam sy dah overload,,kaki tangan sume kebas,,stadi HiVoltage sempat 1 soalan je,lepas tuu blackout!bangun2 kul 11.30 pagi!exam pukul 2.00!!dgn titisan airmata sy hadap jugak g jawap exam n nyaris2 panggil encik paan utk cakap:
"incik,,boley tak saya amek subjek ni lg skali mase sem khas,,sy da xleh jawap"
masa tu sy br jawap 1 soalan,(kecik).dan kertas jawapan dah basah terkena tetesan airmataku bercampur sedikit hijau2 mukus. tp alhamdulillah,,lepas 20 minit nanges sy terkenangkan ibuku yg slalu support sy xkira apa juga bentuk sy.terus sy conteng kertas jawapan td dgn bekas2 memori yg ade ms blaja lam kelas dlu.dgn keadaan otak yg xmmpu diperah,,cmane nak ckp perasaan tu ek,,korang penah teran2 berak tapi t**k xnak kuar??cmtu la rs dia.but terima kaseih uMMi!seorang ibu sememangnya sumber inspirasiku!dia yg sy lupakan dlm kesibukan sy selama 3 minggu ni.dia jugalah yg berjaya mengembalikan semangat sy disaat sy dah hampir patah dan terburai.kalau sy x sebok,,hmpir tiap ari kami gayut...tp sejak sy buat FYP ni,,da dkt sbulan sy x call dia,,dia call sy tido.sy bgun nk call dia plak tido.sorry ummi,,but u are still the best for me!sbg penghargaan sy tempek gambar umi sy kat entry ni,,yay!

mesti dia suka sebab dia mmg jenis easily excited bila gambar dia muncul kat internet.worldwide katenye,,ape2 aje lah ummi but i will always love you!

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/89VUWW9VVT9N

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/89VUWW9VVT9N

thank you to all my supporter!
haha~~

::this is my blog::

yes,,this is my blog.
and this is the only place i can be myself.
so please do not ask me 2 change anything.
i've been what people want me to be in almost everything.
so in here please give me some space to be myself.
i've look into the tiniest place so less people is going to hurt each time i wanna be myself.
so please respect this tiny space i've prepared 4 myself.
all these days,,many things happen that drives me mad.
but thank Allah.by the end of everything,,I see who had i been.
i took everything as a punishment for who i am.
for what i've done.
for those i've hurt.
so i wanna get better.
i want to be like these::

by Faiz Abd Rahman:
biarlah org mengata,,jgn kita mengata
biarlah org memfitnah,,jgn kita melakukannya
biarlah org menzalimi kita,,kita maafkan saje
biarlah org mencaci,,doakan petunjuk buat mereka
bercakap yg mmberi faedah,,atau diam lebih baik
kenangkan budi org,,lupakan jasa kita
balaslah jasa org,,lupakan jasa kita
igtlah kebaikan org,,lupakan kejahatannya
dan balaslah kejahatan org,,dengan kebaikan

etika pergaulan dlm Islam.

br sy sedar,,kenapa sy disakiti.
satu pon nilai ini,,tiada pada sy.
please support me,,to be always better.
i really want to hang on to these.
salam.

how am i doing?

i'm doin great!
bila ade kat kampung jer,,everything would be just fine.
tyme ade kat kampus jer,,otak serabut,,masalah menimpa2 cam jatuh ditimpa tangga.
huhu.
kenapa yer.duit?mungkin.study?no lah.fyp?definitely yes.friends?i'm alive.
so what is it?
yg sebetul benarnyer mungkin sy dah boring study kot.lame kan study.(23-6=17years),,ermmm.
dulu,,rase sgt best study,,kalau boleh nak smpai PhD baru rasa puas.tp kenapa skang dah xde mentaliti cam dulu?lama sgt kot.YA.so i guess once i finish my first degree it would be done.nak kerja,,gain experiences which is more realistic.no more books which speak only the surface.
engineering perlu dipraktik.xboleh belajar atas kertas and you'll be expert.itu literature.bukan engineering.
so sy nak abiskan study secepat mungkin.xsabar utk ilmu yg lebih realistik kat luar sana..
dan xsabar jugak utk parking volkswagen golf depan umah.hopefully sy senang dapat keje,,doakan yer.
salam.

i'm growing older!!

sejak masuk sem baru,,xpenah pon saya post anything on this blog,,why??
life wasn't too hectic just like before.
i like the way life goes now.pretty like it.
and when i feel at ease,,there will be less complaints.(obviously i use this blog for complaining!)
there is nothing special,,i just grew older than before.(of course)
I snap a few pictures of mine.and God i really grew up.but still i'm glad that my face just have a tiny change.and my skin colour doesn't change at all(pic below is influenced by the lighting).and yes i really like it.

i was a lil bit chubby back then.but it's just the physical looks.it doesn't bring much impact to life isn't it.what i concern more lately is the way i behave really notify me that i'm so prepared for the world beyond the box i used to live.it's the way i think of anything,,seems so different to past few years.in the past i act more than i thought.i think less,,i do more.thats my life few years back.but now,,anything i do,,i give it a very serious thought. guess that's what makes me 23.my anger management becomes so much better.
and yes,,i hope less people will get hurt because of me.for some reason,,i feel comfortable with the way thing goes now,,where i really have time to think of myself.it's been such a relief for me,,when i'm capable of doing anything without the necessity of thinking the effect of my doings to the other people.(maybe the sentence is too organized) but yes, i can go anywhere i want to and nobody can stop me.that's the feeling.and it's really good not to worry much for people around you.
for those experiences that take me here,,for those people i met and gave me such a wonderful moments,,and especially to ALLAH swt,,thanks for giving me a better life(as i grow old).
it's not always bad to be old.

end of semester 7!(yeeha walaweyh)

YEEEHAAA WALAWEYH!!!

trademark 2nd final semester.ahahhaha,,,lama da x update blog kan,,byk bnda nak citer time bukan kt depan lappy.bila depan lappy da xigt pebenda nak citer. ok lah kita wat conclusion sem7.aku da nak grad sem depan!!!!

yay!

spnjang sem ni,,aku jmpa xramai org sgt.tp BANYAKKKKK karenah nyer.

1. noor Fad***ah bt ape ntoh.

tahniah kpd beliau kerana berjaya merangkul tempat pertama.orangnyer manis,,taik lalat atas idung.beliau ajar aku hubungan etnik.(2 kredit hour je pon)tp kerja kursus nye macam haremm.bukan banyak,,ade 1 jer,,tapi kena antar berkali2.mula2 nak amek tajuk,,da problem,,tajuk yang dia suggest da abes,,aku suggest sndiri.

"eh mana boleh da ade org amek"
"eh mane boleh saya nak berkaitan bhs melayu jer"
"eh sume yang awak cadang da ade org buat"
puan bagi sy list tajuk2 org laen,,sy nak ejas tajuk sy smpai boleh.
"eh mane boleh sy xtulis pon ape tajuk yang grup laen dah buat"
lorrrhhh.
at last(lagi seminggu due date):
"awak buat jerla pape tajuk pon,,,sal ptptn pon bleh"
lam ati berbicara:
"eh perempuan"

esoknya lepas dapat tajuk kitorg terus siap buat questionaire.pantas kan.da expert da wat keje last minit.nak kena jumpa dia nih,,approve questionaire.sorg ahli grup g lar jumpa.tunggu tau bape lama?seminit?30minit?bukann.2jam!.hoh.kalu aku laa yang tunggu tempoh hari,,aku da bertukar jadi makhluk hijau.sedut mata beliau.masuk jumpa nyer xsmpai 5 minit.

"sy nak awak taip,,pastu send kat emel sy k"

dgn pantas aku antar emel kat dia..tut tut tut masuk kelas:

"sesape yg x approve lg questionaire dtg jmp sy hari ni ngan esok,,4-6pm"
"jgn nak ngade2 antar kat emel,,sy xde mase nak bukak emel"
lorhhhhhhhhhh.
eh perempuan.

so aku sbg student da penat2 balik kelas gi kt blik dia,,tgk2 da penuh org tggu.xpe,,aku balik umah solat dlu la,,4.45pm aku dtg balik.demi kerja kursus tu,aku g smula fakulti (15min dr umah sewa=rm2.50ron95).smpai fakulti kul 5lebeh2.tok tok tok.senyap.tok tok tok.sepi.gang gang gang.debush!pintu kamarnye ku tendang.masih tiada jawapan.kuintai lampu sudah padam.dalam hati aku berbicara,,"xpelah dia lecturer,,aku yang patot tunggu dia".tunggu kejap lamm 540pm aku pon blah.minggu seterusnya aku malas nak masuk kelas beliau dah,,muka manis pon da jadi muka masam.balik kelas kwn citer dia ckp:

"kita kenala ade pakej yg baik,,ini tak,,dah la hodoh,,bodoh,,malas"

mungkin dia xtujukan buat kami.tp.........................dan ade bebrappa dialog yg masih segar diingatan contohnye:

"eh kalau sy rm500 tu 2 hari jer abis call kawan sy kat canada"
"eh budak2 skang ni boros kan,,kalau sy dlu ckup je ptptn tu,,kalu mcm tu sy nak sorg anak je la"
bipolar.
"alah hantaran kwn sy tu baru bape bulan gaji sy,,nasib bek la sy belajar tinggi"
"sy student terbaik UM"
"sy dlu masa umur2 awk ni dah conquer UM tau"

hurmm,,dan di akhir kesabaran aku,,sebab dah 3x antar 'draft' masih dirijek,,aku pon mmeluahkan la perasaan.aku ckp puan bagi jerla ape yang kami layak dapat,,kami pon ade byk lagi keje laen nak buat,,dah bape malam xtido buat benda ni.dan beberapa ceramah yg mungkin menyakitkan ati beliau.

"eh mane boleh nak pasrah cmtu"
"eh awak ni berlagak betol"
"sy xpenah jumpa student kurang ajar cam awak"
"sy xkan doakan yg terbaek utk awak"
"sy arap sy xde keturunan cam awak"

sbgai student aku sedar aku xpatut buat mcm tu.lawan lecturer.lawan org tua.tp kalu bukan kita yg jd cermin diorg,,sape lagi.dunia dah berubah.xsemestinya yang muda itu kurang ilmunya dr semua aspek.kdg2 ade yang muda tahu,,tp yg tua xpernah tahu.dan sebaliknya.cuma yang tua akan LEBIH tahu.bukan tahu SEMUAnya.kerana mereka lebih maka kita kena hormat.kerana mereka lebih tahu maka mereka juga akan tahu menghormati org yg lebih muda juga.dan bukannya

"oh sy student terbaik dlu,,sy dah grad jadi lecturer maka sy tak perlu lagi jadi manusia!"

selagi anda manusia anda patut tahu apa yg menyakitkan manusia laen..apa yg mungkin membuat anda dibenci org laen.benar anda berpengetahuan dan berpengalaman.anda byk asam garam dlm kehidupan sebelum kami.mungkin kami xde pengalaman sehebat anda,tapi kami mungkin mampu melihat dgn jelas dan lebih baik apa yang didepan.

:.kerosakan setahun lalu.:

dah setahun.
aku tinggalkan sesuatu yang bukan aku.
dah setahun.
aku akibatkan kerosakan teruk terhadap diri sendiri.
setahun lalu.
aku jauh lebih baik.
ape yang ade dalam masa setahun ni.
hanya kerosakan.
tapi kenapa dulu dalam kebaikan tu
hati tak penah tenang.
jiwa meronta2
hidup tak segembira waktu2 sekarang.
walau kadang sakit.
tapi masih banyak waktu gembira.
setahun lalu.
kosong setiap kali mata terbuka.
kosong juga saat mata pejam.
hari ini.
hati gembira.hati terluka.
tapi x kosong.
cuma rasa bersalah atas kerosakan setahun lalu.
hidup tak pernah seindah dulu.
tapi hidup xkan lebih bermakna dari sekarang.
maafkan aku.
sememangnya aku telah melepaskan syurga yang dia cuba bawa aku utk bersama
aku harap masih ada cinta lain yang akan membawa aku kesana.
maafkan aku Tuhan.
maafkan aku teman.
aku gembira dalam kerosakan setahun lalu.