:: the new phase::

Assalamualaikum.

Sebut phase je mesti nak 3-phase red-yellow-blue. Ok muqadimah electrical people yang membosankan. Mohon maaf dari hati. Wahaha ape aku merapu ni. Tapi hari ni xnak cakap pasal phase dalam electrical terms. Let's talk about life. Life aku is quite typical. Pegi tadika baling batu kat classmate sebab berebut buaian,, sekolah rendah sumbat classmate dalam tong sampah,,sekolah menengah baik sikit baling cekodok (jeput pisang) panjat koridor berpiknik atas bumbung sekolah,,then pegi matrik panjat pagar fly gi pasar (padahal tak menyalahi undang2 pon nak kuar ikut pintu matrik g pasar sebab mase tu petang lagi) and the last (maybe) formal education is masuk uni sambil melakukan banyak lagi perkara2 abnormal terhadap manusia2 nerd. Walaupun aku di kategorikan sebagai seorang pelajar yang against the education system kat Malaysia tp alhamdulillah aku habis jugak and jadi sorang enginyor (engineer dalam offer letter & business card) walaupun x brape nak lulus lg tgk motor starter punya diagram. (hampeh)

So apekah itu the new phase? KERJA.

Lupa nak gitau u olls I da x update blog lame sebab I dah KERJA u olls!!(buek)

Ape yang besar sgt ngan kerja ni. Xde la best sangat pon cuma tanggungjawap la makin besar. Dulu boleh main2 skarang main2 kiri meletup kanan meletup debusshhh amek kau aku xnak sign kau punye confirmation letter sebab kau hodoh. (monolog dalaman je)

Jadi kenapa KERJA ni kena jadi the new phase? Sebab aku da xmcm dlu dah. 80% Fatimah Azwiah yang bodoh sengal merapu sudah "henshin" kepada Fatimah Azwiah yang serius,,komited dan perasan. (hee) Aku dah banyak tinggalkan kehidupan dulu. Serius x best weyhh keje. Yang best cuma 25hb je sebab mase tu leh berak dengan tenang tanpa memikirkan masalah2 hutang. Masuk je 26hb da jadi x best balik. Berak pon nak sembelit je manjang. Kadang2 x berak2 dah smpai 25hb bulan seterusnye (pahit gile). Okey yang pasti perangai pengotor ni x hilang walaupun dah keje jadi mintak maaf lagi skali.

Sebenarnye aku ni workaholics (perasan adalah slh satu transformation ke phase baru) sebab aku da keje seawal umur 11 tahun mase tu tolong mak bisnes beras yang sudah ditanak (nasik la tu ,,ngangaa luas2 wat ape). Cumanye formal pekerjaan adelah ketika April 2011 iaitu setelah tamat exam final semester. That was my first job and it was quite terrible except for anak bos yang hensem jugak tp not my taste bro. Sori bro. (buek) The first job was more into electronics, skills utk menang tender cara hitam dan putih,,company management and care2 nak memikat jerung tanpa dipotong into pieces. Title nye E&I engineer tp scope keje start dari housekeeping smpai la tender bidding,,mekanik,,despatch,,operator,,receptionist sume aku balun buat. wahahaa kirenye full of experience from different field la dok. (dok mu krek krek)

Byk hal yang jadi kat situ tp aku xpenah merasa menyesal to have that kind of first job since it has educate me very well for the next stage of professional career. So I have applied to many vacancies since then until lah satu company yg aku dah lupa bila aku hantar resume aku tibe called me for an interview and luckily I was offered. Jadi sekarang aku dah masuk hari ke 78 bekerja sebagai Electrical Energy Engineer kat Hicom Automotive Manufacturer Malaysia a subsidiary of DRB-Hicom eceeeceee. Namanyee gah tapi keje nye pon gah la der (ape ko expect aku nak kutuk company aku la ni) xdenye aku keje ikhlas kerana ALLAH (konon sucinye minah ni).

Setakat ini kerjanya dan flow nye adalah happy dan gembira walaupun ade beberapa perkara yang menggugat kekarismaan aku sebagai enginnyo berkaliber tapi aku tetap teguh berdiri di atas kaki cekamku ini. (buek) Walaupun terpaksa melepaskan sesuatu yang dulu aku tatang umpama minyak yang penuh tapi this new phase of life seems to support me from losing my grip and keep me well aligned on the safe side. Mungkin Tuhan mendengar doa aku supaya aku jumpa something yang boleh buat aku lepaskan dia. Dan something itu mungkin kerja aku skarang. And I'll try to cherish every moment I have here.

Thanks for reading and Salam.

~Ku Seru~

Ku membayangi jiwa hatimu

Tapi perpisahan menunggu

Ku ingin membelaimu

Namun kasihku tiada restu

Diri begini kerna selalu

Ditinggalkan marah sengsara

Hingga hilang terlupa

Siapa aku sebenarnya

Sayang.....

Oh dengarlah sayu tangisan ku

Mengapa degupanmu ku seru

Kerna kesepian nan berlalu

Kembalikan hidup yang ku rindu

Oh dengarlah sunyi tangisan ku

Kau tahu ku amat menyayangi mu

Pergilah kau bukan milik ku

Pulang pada yang mengasihi

Diri mu,,,,

Kesepian berlalu,,

Maafkan daku,,

Sampai di sini ku lepas kau pergi

Biar ku damai bersemadi

Luka mu ku mengerti

Kan ku hilangkan derita ini

Kau ku seru

Untuk mu.

I'VE FINISH MY ENGINEERING DEGREE TODAYYYYY!~~

whahahhaaaaa,,,the title itself makes me sound crazy oredy.but YES!i am crazy after this few deadliest weeks but i wonder how am i still alive???(buahhahhaha)

and YES!i've finished my final paper few hours agoooooo,,,(lorh,,the title says i've finish my degree??)
ooooo baru abis exam je pon,,,,unofficial punye finish laa ni,,eh2 jap,,bukan ke sy ade lg 1 paper jumaat ni??paper ape tu??teknokeusahawanan,,nama omputih entrepreneurship,,nama timangan enterPORNO..memandangkan itu bukanlah subjek core saya maka saya amek keputusan untuk isytiharkan saya dah grad hari ni,,,hip hip hoooreeeyyy,,,ade sesape nak cakap sy x betul,,silakan dan terima kaseh,,ngahahhaaa,,,
tp kan....tadi xleh jawap pon final paper.HIGH VOLTAGE Engineering.subjek ENCIK FARHAN a.k.a MR CHumIL,,walaupun dia cumil tp sy masih belom berjaya utk menjawap dgn jayanya,,MAAFKAN SAYA INCIK PAAN!!~~dan subjek itu antara harapan nak dapat A,,tapi KENAPAAAAA???
sebab sy x sehat.bila sy xsehat otak saya malfunction.automatically.sy dah bc berulang2 kali tapi bila masuk je dewan,,baca soalan,,1 haram pon x igt,,smpai electric field pon bleh lupa rumus???xkan la sy bodoh smpai cmtu skali?yer begitulah sy bila xsehat.kenapa sy xsehat yer?
ANGKARA FINAL YEAR PROJECT.
patutnye sume da setel 19 april dulu,,but my project is incomplete.kerana terlalu suka buat keje last minute,,itulah ganjarannya.tp utk FYP tu xde la last minit sgt pon.sy da start lama just xjmpa solution.xpelah abaikan FYP nnti sy bukak slot baru citer pasal FYP je.so nape sy xsehat?
19apr-presentation & demo FYP
2 weeks before-8 jam di lab, 3 jam di library.everyday.kelas kira cancel.
22apr-submit final report(projek xjalan lagi nih)
25apr-1st paper.killer paper
26apr-killer paper
arini-killer2 paper.
secara konklusi nye sy dah 3 minggu berturut2 x tido malam.makan sekali sehari.penah 2 hari x mandi n x gosok gg langsung.teruk kan nak jadi engineer ni,,ermmmmm...natijahnyer,,semalam sy dah overload,,kaki tangan sume kebas,,stadi HiVoltage sempat 1 soalan je,lepas tuu blackout!bangun2 kul 11.30 pagi!exam pukul 2.00!!dgn titisan airmata sy hadap jugak g jawap exam n nyaris2 panggil encik paan utk cakap:
"incik,,boley tak saya amek subjek ni lg skali mase sem khas,,sy da xleh jawap"
masa tu sy br jawap 1 soalan,(kecik).dan kertas jawapan dah basah terkena tetesan airmataku bercampur sedikit hijau2 mukus. tp alhamdulillah,,lepas 20 minit nanges sy terkenangkan ibuku yg slalu support sy xkira apa juga bentuk sy.terus sy conteng kertas jawapan td dgn bekas2 memori yg ade ms blaja lam kelas dlu.dgn keadaan otak yg xmmpu diperah,,cmane nak ckp perasaan tu ek,,korang penah teran2 berak tapi t**k xnak kuar??cmtu la rs dia.but terima kaseih uMMi!seorang ibu sememangnya sumber inspirasiku!dia yg sy lupakan dlm kesibukan sy selama 3 minggu ni.dia jugalah yg berjaya mengembalikan semangat sy disaat sy dah hampir patah dan terburai.kalau sy x sebok,,hmpir tiap ari kami gayut...tp sejak sy buat FYP ni,,da dkt sbulan sy x call dia,,dia call sy tido.sy bgun nk call dia plak tido.sorry ummi,,but u are still the best for me!sbg penghargaan sy tempek gambar umi sy kat entry ni,,yay!

mesti dia suka sebab dia mmg jenis easily excited bila gambar dia muncul kat internet.worldwide katenye,,ape2 aje lah ummi but i will always love you!

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/89VUWW9VVT9N

www.this-is-my-story.com/v/89VUWW9VVT9N

thank you to all my supporter!
haha~~

::this is my blog::

yes,,this is my blog.
and this is the only place i can be myself.
so please do not ask me 2 change anything.
i've been what people want me to be in almost everything.
so in here please give me some space to be myself.
i've look into the tiniest place so less people is going to hurt each time i wanna be myself.
so please respect this tiny space i've prepared 4 myself.
all these days,,many things happen that drives me mad.
but thank Allah.by the end of everything,,I see who had i been.
i took everything as a punishment for who i am.
for what i've done.
for those i've hurt.
so i wanna get better.
i want to be like these::

by Faiz Abd Rahman:
biarlah org mengata,,jgn kita mengata
biarlah org memfitnah,,jgn kita melakukannya
biarlah org menzalimi kita,,kita maafkan saje
biarlah org mencaci,,doakan petunjuk buat mereka
bercakap yg mmberi faedah,,atau diam lebih baik
kenangkan budi org,,lupakan jasa kita
balaslah jasa org,,lupakan jasa kita
igtlah kebaikan org,,lupakan kejahatannya
dan balaslah kejahatan org,,dengan kebaikan

etika pergaulan dlm Islam.

br sy sedar,,kenapa sy disakiti.
satu pon nilai ini,,tiada pada sy.
please support me,,to be always better.
i really want to hang on to these.
salam.

how am i doing?

i'm doin great!
bila ade kat kampung jer,,everything would be just fine.
tyme ade kat kampus jer,,otak serabut,,masalah menimpa2 cam jatuh ditimpa tangga.
huhu.
kenapa yer.duit?mungkin.study?no lah.fyp?definitely yes.friends?i'm alive.
so what is it?
yg sebetul benarnyer mungkin sy dah boring study kot.lame kan study.(23-6=17years),,ermmm.
dulu,,rase sgt best study,,kalau boleh nak smpai PhD baru rasa puas.tp kenapa skang dah xde mentaliti cam dulu?lama sgt kot.YA.so i guess once i finish my first degree it would be done.nak kerja,,gain experiences which is more realistic.no more books which speak only the surface.
engineering perlu dipraktik.xboleh belajar atas kertas and you'll be expert.itu literature.bukan engineering.
so sy nak abiskan study secepat mungkin.xsabar utk ilmu yg lebih realistik kat luar sana..
dan xsabar jugak utk parking volkswagen golf depan umah.hopefully sy senang dapat keje,,doakan yer.
salam.

i'm growing older!!

sejak masuk sem baru,,xpenah pon saya post anything on this blog,,why??
life wasn't too hectic just like before.
i like the way life goes now.pretty like it.
and when i feel at ease,,there will be less complaints.(obviously i use this blog for complaining!)
there is nothing special,,i just grew older than before.(of course)
I snap a few pictures of mine.and God i really grew up.but still i'm glad that my face just have a tiny change.and my skin colour doesn't change at all(pic below is influenced by the lighting).and yes i really like it.

i was a lil bit chubby back then.but it's just the physical looks.it doesn't bring much impact to life isn't it.what i concern more lately is the way i behave really notify me that i'm so prepared for the world beyond the box i used to live.it's the way i think of anything,,seems so different to past few years.in the past i act more than i thought.i think less,,i do more.thats my life few years back.but now,,anything i do,,i give it a very serious thought. guess that's what makes me 23.my anger management becomes so much better.
and yes,,i hope less people will get hurt because of me.for some reason,,i feel comfortable with the way thing goes now,,where i really have time to think of myself.it's been such a relief for me,,when i'm capable of doing anything without the necessity of thinking the effect of my doings to the other people.(maybe the sentence is too organized) but yes, i can go anywhere i want to and nobody can stop me.that's the feeling.and it's really good not to worry much for people around you.
for those experiences that take me here,,for those people i met and gave me such a wonderful moments,,and especially to ALLAH swt,,thanks for giving me a better life(as i grow old).
it's not always bad to be old.